But I am a Man of Unclean Lips

This week was a little crazy for me. I was in Phoenix, AZ for a board meeting of The Episcopal Network for Stewardship (TENS) and had some great difficulty trying to update the blog with the readings for this Sunday, Feb. 7, 2010. It seems that I am an UNworthy blog technician. After updating my webbrowser to the latest edition for internet security, I seem to have locked myself out of the easy "cut and paste" to post the week's lectionary texts. After a personal post-meeting journey for a spiritual adventure to the Grand Canyon (more on the trip later), a bout with a stomach virus which rendered me worthLESS for a couple of days, and a marathon tour de force with Bishop High for a triple dedication evening and all-day regional workshop for Altar Guild and Worship Ministers, here am I on Saturday night at 9:00pm.

The call naratives of Isaiah and Peter (in Luke ch. 5), as well as, Paul expressing his feelings of inadequacy in his call give me comfort in this time of shortcoming. Grace abounds! And isn't that really a big part of what these three texts have in common?

In the presence of God, Isaiah confesses that he would be better off with a bar of soap in his mouth along with all those in his community. Yet, he is the one that God calls, and he is the one that God cleanses and equips for this ministry to God's people. Grace.

Peter, the fisherman, questions Jesus' advice about casting the net after Peter has come up empty all night. But Peter is humbled by the straining nets found in the presence of Jesus and he falls to his knees acknowledging his lack of worthiness even to be near Jesus. But he is the one Jesus calls, and Peter is the one Jesus equips to "feed his sheep". Grace.

Paul, writing to the Corinthian church, tells of his own apostleship and reveals his own struggle accepting that Jesus would call him to be an apostle, after all he was the "chief of all sinners" as a persecutor of the Church. Yet, Paul is the one Jesus calls; and Paul is the one who Jesus blinded and then is given new sight in the light of the Resurrected Christ. Paul is the one Jesus equips to be the evangelist to the Gentiles. Grace.

I was overwhelmed in awe at the works of God's hands as I stood on the ledge of the Grand Canyon and peered into the depth of the palette of colors displayed before me. Who are we that God would share such splendor? I was speechless. I had no words to describe what I was feeling, seeing or experiencing in the marrow of my soul. But one thing I know for sure I did not feel worthy to be blessed with such a gift. But the reality is that God blesses us anyway, whether we are worthy or not. Most of us struggle, at least if we are honest with our own brokenness, with the fact that Jesus has called us to be his ministers.

Jesus calls all the baptized into this blessed life; we are the ones called to preach the Good News to those who are far off and those who are near. And Jesus equips us to push away from the comfort and safety of our personal shores into the deep water of the world to cast a net for God's Kingdom.

We don't all (and MOST of us don't) have a call narrative like Isaiah, Paul, or Peter; but we do have a call, nonetheless. For most of us that just means we need to get in the boat and push away form the shore of self-doubt; Jesus will equip us with what we need for the day's catch for the kingdom. As for me, I am a man of unclean lips and chief among sinners; but thanks be to God, Grace abounds!

The Rev. P. Lance Ousley+